Marriage is a union between two people and communication is essential to ensure that it remains strong. Unfortunately, even the most loving marriages can suffer from communication breakdowns, resulting in an unhappy marriage. Here are several causes of communication breakdown in marriage:
With fairy tale-like romance often portrayed through movies, books and the media these days, it is inevitable for couples to accumulate unrealistic expectations about love and marriage. Having these expectations unmet over time can put a strain on the relationship and lead to feelings of disappointment, frustration and unhappiness.
Lack of Listening
Not taking the time to listen closely to one another is a common occurrence in most marriages. Oftentimes, individuals want to be heard more than they want to listen. When this problem persists over time, both partners may begin to feel unheard or as if their opinions don’t matter, resulting in them not wanting to engage in future conversations.
Not putting each other first
When one partner doesn’t prioritize their spouse’s needs over their own, it can breed feelings of neglect and insecurity. This can often lead to more frequent fights between the couple as they each try to get what they want out of the relationship. The lack of trust that results from not putting your partner first can also cause power struggles within the marriage.
Conflict arises when one partner fails to understand their counterpart’s feelings or perspective. Failing to recognize how their words or actions will be interpreted by each other often leads to arguments and animosity that prevent any meaningful dialogue from taking place.
Negative non-verbal communication
Non-verbal communication, such as body language, facial expressions, and tones of voice, can convey emotions more strongly than words. When couples communicate in a negative way without saying anything, it is easy for misunderstandings to arise.
Additionally, turning away from each other while talking or avoiding physical contact are forms of silent rejection that could lead to mistrust between partners over time.
Speaking in superlatives
Speaking in superlatives is when an individual makes exaggerated statements or opinions while trying to make a point – you always, you never. When someone speaks in superlatives, they are essentially creating an unrealistic view of their partner’s actions or behaviors. They are also invalidating their feelings by making one-sided judgments about them without taking into account their own feelings or opinions, which can be harmful to their marriage.
Degrading your spouse
Sarcasm, name-calling, criticism and humiliation – it is no surprise that such degrading behaviors can be damaging for a marriage. Not only does it erode trust, but it also serves as a reminder of how little regard one has for their partner’s feelings or needs. This lack of respect can lead to reduced communication between partners as they may become afraid to express themselves openly out of fear that what they say will be dismissed or ridiculed.
Bringing up the past
Keeping scores and dredging up the past can lead to intense arguments and tension that could potentially damage a relationship. People may do this out of habit, as a way of trying to defend themselves against perceived criticism, or simply because they want an apology. However, doing so can be extremely damaging to their marriage.
Playing the blame game
When partners look for someone else to take responsibility for their problems and issues, they are avoiding addressing the real issue at hand. Such a behavior perpetuates an unhealthy dynamic wherein both parties are unwilling to take ownership of their issues and instead point fingers at each other when things go wrong, which can result in serious disconnection in the marriage if left unresolved.
When individuals are feeling overwhelmed by life’s stresses, they tend to withdraw from their partner both physically and emotionally. This lack of connection fosters tension in the relationship and a breakdown in communication, and may also lead to conflict and resentment.
No longer intimate or connected
Lack of intimacy in marriage is a major problem which can have many negative repercussions on the relationship. Intimacy is an essential aspect of any marriage, as it allows couples to bond and build trust between each other. Without intimacy, marriages may become strained and distant, eroding the quality of the couple’s connection.
Although lack of intimacy between a married couple is often the root cause of tension in their marriage, this problem gets swept under the carpet without being ever resolved, due to parties’ reluctance to talk about it.
Communication Breakdown is Common Cause of Marriage Problems
Communication breakdown in a marriage is a common problem that can be caused by a myriad of issues. While these external obstacles can be overcome by making an effort to prioritize communication with your spouse, constant willingness on both parties to want to make the marriage work is essential.
Many couples struggle to stay committed in doing so, and often resort to taking the “easy way out” – divorce. However, there are many hidden repercussions of getting a divorce that one may not know of. Divorce merely ends a marriage, divorce in itself does not end all problems.
It would be foolhardy to get away from a set of problems by getting a divorce but ending up with even more problems after getting a divorce.Should you find yourself considering a divorce, be sure to take some time to think through it carefully and avoid making hasty decisions in a moment of anger.
PKNG is helmed by Ng Pui Khim. An experienced divorce lawyer in Singapore, Pui Khim is practicing as a director under Gateway Law Corporation.
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